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 Welcome to Sexy TIMES!This blog will report various, often random and sometimes dubious thoughts, quirks, observations, trivia, tales, questions, dreams, rants, opinions, truths, musings, stories, lies, hopes, moans, fantasies, etc in the hope of tempting you to get involved. Our mission is to put the facts in the public domain! Please feel free to write a letter to the editor at LETTERS TO THE EDITOR. Back issues of Sexy TIMES are available at INDEX OF BACK ISSUESSexy TIMES editor: spunkycumfun, Esq. Sexy TIMES proprietor: Rupert Murdoch Sexy TIMES executive designer: [blog cherimore] The editor and, of course, the proprietor take no responsibility for accuracy of the content, nor any responsibility for the propriety of how the content was gathered. Otherwise, Sexy TIMES subscribes to the highest ethical standards of journalism. |
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SPENCER LOVES A NUDE
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Gepost op:25 oktober 2021 10:49 am
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:42 am 43269 Bezichtigingen
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Spencer Tunick is an American photographer, who specialises in photographing nude people massed together. He calls it art; his works are examples of both installation art and performance art.
The artist has done over 75 photoshoots across the world. Most of his photoshoots have taken place in America but he has also worked in Australia, Austria, Britain, Canada, Colombia, France, Germany, Ireland, Israel, Mexico, Netherlands, Norway, Spain, Switzerland and Venezuela.
His latest photoshoot took place in the Dead Sea to raise attention about its declining sea level and to raise funds for the Dead Sea Museum. See above and below for photos of his artwork.
If Spencer Tunick called, would you volunteer to be photographed naked in one of his shoots?
Have you ever been photographed naked?
If photographed naked, who took the photographs?
If Spencer Tunick got in touch with me, I’d be very keen to appear naked in one of his photoshoots. I’d even answer his phone call naked!
I’ve only ever been photographed naked by my partners more in the sake of sex than art!
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AN IDIOT’S GUIDE TO AMERICAN FOOTBALL
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Gepost op:22 oktober 2021 9:00 am
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:41 am 42839 Bezichtigingen
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San Francisco 49ers:
Prompted by my good friend, Tmptrzz, this post is my guide to American football with no buts but lots of butts! Yes, it’s an idiot’s guide because, when it comes to American football, I am an idiot but I thought it’d be useful to pass on my very limited knowledge of the game.
American football is sometimes called football by Americans, but most of the world understand football to be a totally different game. Americans call this game soccer, but almost everyone else calls it football.
American football looks a complicated game, but it’s basically a game between a lot of men wearing helmets and padded shoulders. They run around throwing and catching a ball while occasionally bumping into each other. Sometimes a man crosses a line for a touchdown, which is a scoring move.
To be good at American football, you need to huddle well. There’s a lot of huddles in the game.
Games last for a very long time because a lot of adverts that have to be shown on television.
The only player worth watching is the quarterback. The quarterback hogs the balI. I hear Tom Brady was one of the best quarterbacks when he played for the New England Patriots, but it was found that he fiddled his balls to win games.
The top league for American football is the National Football League, the NFL for short. Surprisingly for a capitalist country, American football is run on socialist lines with no relegation, salary caps, and the annual draft in which weaker teams get the first pick and stronger teams the last pick of new players.
Teams play a lot of games throughout the season but the only game that seems to matter is the Super Bowl, which is the last game of the NFL season. To understand the Super Bowl, a knowledge of Latin helps as, for some reason, Roman numerals are used to denote Super Bowl games of different seasons.
The NFL is trying to go international. Some league games are played outside America in Britain and Mexico, and there are plans to play games in Canada and Germany. At the moment professional American football is played only in America, which is why it’s sensibly called American football.
American football, unlike football, is not an Olympic sport. However, there are plans to include American football in the 2028 Olympic Games to be held in Los Angeles. I wonder who will win the first gold medal in American football! When Britain hosts its next Olympics, there are plans to include British Bulldog, a tag-based playground game similar to American football, in the games!
Have I missed anything in my guide to American football?
Do you enjoy watching American football?
If so, what football team do you support?
My NFL team is the San Francisco 49ers. I support the 49ers because they have a stake in my football team, Leeds United. My support consists of logging onto their website every month!
Kissing Suzy Kolber, a defunct blog, designed an alternative logo for each NFL team. Below are some of their 'spot-the-butt' logos.
Buffalo Bills:
New England Patriots:
Miami Dolphins:
Cleveland Browns:
Oakland Raiders:
Los Angeles Rams:
Kansas City Chiefs:
Minnesota Vikings:
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A SAUCY POST
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Gepost op:20 oktober 2021 9:19 am
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:40 am 42604 Bezichtigingen
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Above is my cock dipped in chocolate and my chocolate cock being cleaned up by my partner … or that’s how my dream went last night!
For savoury dishes, my favourite sauces are satay sauce, tomato ketchup, brown sauce, Worcestershire sauce, tabasco sauce, curry sauce, cheese sauce, Hollandaise sauce, sweet chilli sauce and gravy. In particular, I like parsley sauce with fish, horseradish sauce with roast beef, bread sauce with roast chicken, mint sauce with roast lamb, and peppercorn sauce with a fillet steak.
Generally, I don’t like mixing savoury and sweet food in the same dish. Unlike many people, I don’t have redcurrant or cranberry sauce with roast chicken or roast turkey. I make an exception with fish when I sometimes add sweet chilli sauce to my plate.
For sweet dishes, my favourite sauces are custard, chocolate sauce, butterscotch sauce, fruit coulis and double cream.
What are your most favourite sauces?
And what are your least favourite sauces?
Have you ever used sauce when having sex?
I’ve never used sauce when having sex - it’s too messy and sticky!
Some people have tartare sauce with fish but I find that sauce far too tart. Tartare sauce is my least favourite sauce.
My two most favourite sauces are satay sauce, a spicy peanut sauce, and custard, a vanilla sauce - see below.
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TRIVIALISING SEX
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Gepost op:18 oktober 2021 10:31 am
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:40 am 40241 Bezichtigingen
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Here are 21 bits of sex trivia:
1. Americans have more sex than British people, Chinese people have more sex than Japanese people, and Greek people have more sex than French people.
2. The Kama Sutra details techniques on 10 types of kisses, 64 different caresses, 8 variations on oral sex, and 84 positions for sexual intercourse.
3. Smokers are 10 per cent more sexually active than non-smokers.
4. The Icelandic Phallological Museum, located in Reykjavik, is the world’s only museum devoted to penises.
5. A teaspoon of semen contains 5 calories - that's fattening!
6. American people who like jazz music are 30 per cent more sexually active than people who don’t like jazz music.
7. On average, couples have sex between one and three times a week – that much!
8. There are between 500 and 1,000 deaths per year due to auto-erotic asphyxiation.
9. For men seeking penile enlargement surgery, the average gain in size is about one inch when flaccid and half an inch when erect; over 65% of men who opt for penile enlargement surgery are dissatisfied with the result.
10. A person burns about 150-200 calories for every half-hour of sex.
11. Graduates have 32 per cent more sex than non-graduates.
12. The average sex session lasts between 3 and 10 minutes – that long!
13. Children whose parents read to them less than once a week are 33 per cent more likely to be sexually active when they become teenagers than children whose parents read to them more than once a week.
14. The clitoris is the only organ in the human body that has the sole purpose of pleasure.
15. On average, a man ejaculates at 27mph – that’s faster than a bus!
16. Women who went to university are more likely to enjoy receiving and giving oral sex.
17. The average man has 11 erections per day and 9 erections per night.
18. People who rarely go to church have 31 per cent more sex than people who regularly go to church.
19. Leonardo da Vinci discovered that blood filled an erect penis; it was previously believed that air filled an erect penis – is there no end to the genius of Leonardo da Vinci?
20. Endytophilia is the desire to have sex while dressed.
21. Research has found that British men achieve the highest sexual satisfaction rating compared to men from other countries.
Do any of these bits of sex trivia surprise you?
Do you have any bits of sex trivia to share?
Do you enjoy trivia?
As a British, non-churchgoing, smoking, graduate man, whose parents never read to me when I was a child, none of this sex trivia surprises me!
I very much enjoy trivia, including sex trivia, so much so that there are some bonus bits of sex trivia inside!
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THE GLORY OF A HOLE
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Gepost op:16 oktober 2021 8:15 am
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:39 am 39789 Bezichtigingen
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In dealing with the ongoing covid pandemic, the British Columbia Centre for Disease Control, a Canadian public health agency, recommended that when having sex people should keep contact details of their sexual partners, wash before and after sex, avoid kissing, wear a face or dental mask, use condoms or lubricant, and select sex positions that avoid face-to-face contact - I’m having sex doggy-style as my contribution to public health!
The British Columbia Centre for Disease Control also recommended that people should “use barriers, like walls (e.g., glory holes), that allow for sexual contact but prevent close face-to-face contact”. Yes, glory holes, often seen as seedy and unsafe, are now officially healthy and safe!
Apart from having more doggy sex, my sex life hasn’t changed during the pandemic as I live in the house with my wife!
How has your sex changed during the pandemic?
Have you used a glory hole? If so, what was it like?
Would you like to use a glory hole?
I've not used a glory hole. In an Amsterdam sex shop, I went into a small booth with my then girlfriend to watch a porn film. We started to have sex but we soon noticed a hole halfway up the wall; we quickly plugged the hole before someone’s cock popped through and then we finished having sex.
On another occasion, I asked another girlfriend see if she would be keen on going to a sex club that had glory hole facilities. She was interested but asked me to phone the club about membership before going. On phoning the club, the receptionist told me that the club was a gay club. My girlfriend was still keen but I was less keen, not that I could tell whether a man or a woman is sucking my cock or not!
The thought of going into a room with a glory hole used to appeal to me, and perhaps still does. I like the thought of sex with a stranger, but then again just as I put my cock through a glory hole that stranger may cut off my cock with a sharp knife. Perhaps glory holes aren’t so safe!
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ORANGE IS THE WORST
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Gepost op:13 oktober 2021 9:30 am
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:39 am 41083 Bezichtigingen
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Neon orange:
Dutch Oranje:
Above is half-naked standing against a neon orange-painted wall. Unfortunately, at the time the photograph was taken, I applied too much fake suntan lotion on my body in a vain attempt to look like Donald Trump!
Orange is the worst colour. The colour doesn’t suit me as I have quite fair skin. The colour only seems to suit people with darker skins.
Also above is Denzel Dumfries, a Netherlands footballer, celebrating after scoring a goal. The Dutch, both its football team and fans, like to wear orange, oranje to the Dutch. The reason is that the Dutch royal family is known as the House of Orange. In the late eighteenth century, William of Orange, a member of the Dutch Royal Family, was asked to rule Britain.
What is your least favourite colour?
What is your most favourite colour?
What colours suit you?
My favourite colour is blue. The colour suits me as I have blue eyes. My Mum dressed me in blue and I still wear a lot of blue, especially blue denim jeans.
Below are Italian footballers celebrating a goal during the recent Euro 2020 Championships, the Azzurri, as Italy’s football team are called, went onto win the championships after beating England in the final.
The Romans also conquered England, though not much of Scotland and Wales. Over time, the Italians have certainly done a job on the English!
Also below is me fully naked standing against an azure blue-painted wall. Yet again unfortunately, at the time of the photograph taken, my very big balls were blue because of the very cold weather!
Italian Azzurri:
Azure blue:
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FAT BEAR WEEK
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Gepost op:11 oktober 2021 10:07 am
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:38 am 40951 Bezichtigingen
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Brown Bears on the Brooks Falls, Alaska:
Fat Bear Week 2021 draw:
Forget the Ryder Cup, Super Bowl, Challenge Cup, Olympics, Wimbledon, Indian Premier League, Stanley Cup, America’s Cup, World Series and FA Cup, Fat Bear Week beats the lots of them for excitement!
Fat Bear Week is an annual competition whereby people get the chance to vote for the fattest bear in Alaska’s Katmai National Park, a wilderness containing more bears than humans. This year’s Fat Bear Week took place from 29 September to 5 October.
Fat Bear Week is a single elimination tournament. For each set of two bears drawn together, people vote for the fattest bear to advance to the next round until only one fat bear will be crowned champion of Fat Bear Week.
In preparation for hibernation during the winter months when brown bears lose one-third of their body weight, bears gorge on sockeye salmon from late June to mid-October. The bears go fishing on Brooks River and Bristol Bay, with Brooks Falls being a particular favourite fishing spot.
Did you vote in the Fat Bear Week competition?
What fat bear below gets your vote to be the supreme champion?
This year’s Fat Bear Week winner was a 25 year-old bear named Otis. He also voted the fattest bear in 2014, 2016 and 2017. This bear definitely loves his salmon!
Last year, 747 was voted the fattest bear; in 2019, Holly was declared the fattest bear; and in 2018 and 2015, Beadnose was crowned the fattest bear.
Over 793,000 votes were cast in this year’s Fat Bear Week contest; incredibly, that’s over twice the number of votes cast in last year’s presidential election in Alaska. I shouldn’t scoff because Fat Bear Week is open to voters from across America and all over the world.
Otis:
747:
Holly:
Beadnose:
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I HAVE A CRUSH
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Gepost op:8 oktober 2021 10:17 am
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:38 am 40467 Bezichtigingen
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It’s true, I’m having a crush and my crush is on this site! I think I may crush easily. I’ve crushed on a few women on this site. Don’t worry, I’m not a stalker or even a lurker. I never act on my crushes, far easier online than offline, unless my crush gives me a green light.
For me, a crush is slightly foolish - the person is usually unattainable and the feeling is often based on fantasy. I think it may be easier to crush online as I can fill in the gaps however I please. In real life, my initial crush is often ended when that person speaks or moves. If the person farts, the crush is immediately crushed!
Having said that, a crush is sometimes enjoyable; it livens up a humdrum day with thoughts of what may happen if the unrequited crush ever became requited.
Who was your first crush?
Have you ever had a crush on someone on this site?
Who was or who is your last crush?
My first crush was at primary school. I would often sit behind her in class and drop my pen on the floor so I can see up her skirt. She always wore green pants, but maybe they were part of the school uniform.
In the last year of school, she was about to leave school for another school as her parents were moving to a different part of the country. I became quite upset and wrote a letter to her pleading not to leave our school. Fortunately, my Mum found this letter and persuaded me not to post it.
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BRAVE THE BREAST
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Gepost op:6 oktober 2021 1:00 pm
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:27 am 48391 Bezichtigingen
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Above is a photo of Brave the Breast, an annual walk organised by the Swaziland Breast Cancer Network to promote breast cancer awareness.
This month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This awareness month started in America as the National Breast Cancer Awareness Month in 1985; it was founded by the American Cancer Society and Imperial Chemical Industries, now part of AstraZeneca. The pink ribbons associated with Breast Cancer Awareness Month became popular much later than this initial campaign.
As international awareness promotion campaigns go, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is arguably the most successful in terms of both providing information to the general public and raising funds for scientific research.
Will you be wearing pink this month?
Does pink suit you?
Do you think only girls should wear pink?
I love the colour pink, though I prefer pale pink to the more lurid shades of pink. I have a pink shirt that I’ll be wearing a lot this month. I’ve worn the shirt once already and I’ll be wearing it again without it being washed. There’s no pinkwashing with me!
In the nineteenth century, boys were often dressed in pink. Because boys were seen as small men and men often wore red uniforms, boys wore pink. Girls were often dressed in blue. Nowadays, at least here, pink is for girls and blue is for boys. How times change!
Below are photos of the White House, 10 Downing Street and the Palácio do Planalto, the Brazilian presidential palace, all illuminated in pink to mark Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
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A SPOTTED DICK
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Gepost op:4 oktober 2021 12:52 pm
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:27 am 38572 Bezichtigingen
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Spotted dick:
A spotted dick is a traditional British pudding, made with suet and dried fruit and often served with custard. I love a spotted dick; in fact, it's one of my favourite desserts. It is comfort food as I often had spotted dick at boarding school, though other dicks were available in the dorms!
Two other comfort food-desserts, all served up at school, are jam roly-poly and sticky toffee pudding. Both are best served with custard, a thick vanilla sauce that the French crème anglaise.
When I came back home from boarding school, my Mum would often spoil me by making my favourite desserts, sherry trifle and summer pudding.
Sherry trifle is another traditional English dessert; it consists of layers of fruit jelly, custard and whipped cream on top of a base of sherry-soaked sponge fingers. My Dad would often tease me that I was getting drunk on eating the trifle! Even drunk, I’m a sucker for trifle.
While at home I would often pick blackberries from the hedges of the many country lanes near the farm where I lived. My Mum would then use the blackberries to make summer pudding. This is a pudding made in a deep bowl lined with sliced white bread; the blackberries would be added to the dish, which turned upside-down would be left overnight ready to be served up the next day.
A cherry pie is probably my favourite dessert pie, though apple pie and gooseberry pie come close. I have to have custard with these pies, though vanilla ice cream instead of custard would be okay. Having said all that, eating these pies aren’t as good as eating a cream pie!
After leaving school, my love of desserts never faded. Pear almondine, tiramisu and crème brûlée are my more recent favourites. Pears and almonds, often under-rated for taste, go really well together as a pear almondine tart. The hint of coffee is what leads me to tiramisu. And, if stuffed after eating a main course, ’s always room for a crème brûlée finish off the meal.
What is your most favourite dessert?
What is your least favourite dessert?
There’s one dessert I don’t like, and I don’t know why, but that’s cheesecake. If you invite me dinner, I hope you won’t serve me cheesecake!
I even like desserts that many people don’t like, such as rice pudding, semolina and tapioca. And I like bread and butter pudding served with custard.
Jam roly-poly:
Sticky toffee pudding:
Sherry trifle:
Summer pudding:
Cherry pie:
Pear almondine:
Tiramisu:
Crème brûlée:
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MISSING MARKET HARBOROUGH
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Gepost op:1 oktober 2021 7:58 am
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:27 am 36382 Bezichtigingen
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Market Harborough, Leicestershire:
The Three Swans Hotel, Market Harborough:
Market Harborough is a thriving market town in Leicestershire. It’s about an hour’s train journey from where I live and it’s very near a motorway. The town was particularly well located for regular romantic trysts with Sophie who always drove there from the south coast. Usually every month, we always met up at The Three Swans Hotel on a Saturday and stay overnight.
I would always arrive first. I’d check in at the hotel, go to the bedroom, have a bath and get changed. I would also prepare the room for the evening ahead; this involved dim lighting, curtains closed, joints rolled, a towel placed on the bed, and Japanese bondage rope tied to the bedposts - Sophie liked being tied up!
About an hour after I arrived, Sophie would call me to say she’s in the hotel’s car park. I would go outside and greet her and take her bag to the bedroom. We would then go to the hotel bar and order a bottle of rosé wine - I’d prefer dry white wine but Sophie preferred her wine sweeter. If the weather was good, we’d take our wine and sit outside in the hotel’s courtyard.
The conversation would always start with Sophie telling me what’s happened with her work, what’s happened with her friends, what’s happened with her two teenage daughters and usually what’s not happened with her husband. This would take quite some time - Sophie would always digress. Invariably a second bottle of wine would be ordered at the bar before I could tell Sophie what’s happened with my life.
We would be getting a little tipsy by now. Sophie. with her handbag, would go back into the hotel, presumably to the ladies’ toilets. On her return, she would give a knowing smile. I knew then she had taken her panties off. That was always the cue for me to drop a cigarette on the floor to have a look at her trimmed pussy under her dress - she always wore a dress!
Our conversation would become more sexualised. As she wouldn’t let me touch her in the courtyard, I would repeatedly plead that we should retire to the bedroom. Eventually Sophie would succumb.
On entering the bedroom, I would start to kiss her and gently take her clothes off - okay, I wasn’t always gentle in removing her clothes. I was turned on and she had a gorgeous body. I’d lead Sophie to the bed and lie her down so that I could tie up her wrists and ankles with the rope to the bedposts. Then I’d take my clothes off; I’d like to say I seductively removed my clothes but it was more of a clumsy, rushed strip.
On getting naked I would then often give Sophie a teasing massage, starting with her feet. She would get impatient after a while and asked to kiss my cock and balls. She knew that I very much like my balls being kissed, licked and sucked. I always relented and teasingly placed my cock near her mouth for her to play with me.
Now highly aroused, I would want to kiss, lick and suck her clit. She had a gorgeous clit. I would often stop to look at Sophie’s face and to kiss her mouth, and then I’d go back to lick her very wet pussy - thank goodness for the towel!
Sophie would ask for my cock to go inside her pussy. I would tease her by kissing, licking and sucking her clit more. Then I would get up to untie the rope around her hands and feet and get on top of her whilst gradually touching her pussy with my cock and balls. My cock, now very hard, would slide in; it was always a magical fit inside her pussy. I would start slow and get faster with the thrusts of my cock while looking at her and telling how gorgeous she is. Sophie’s face would start to orgasm and I would feel my cock getting very deep inside her pussy. We would often orgasm together.
On recovering, we would get up and get changed to go to the hotel’s restaurant. After our meal, we’d go back to the bedroom and have sex again. But this time when I licked her pussy I would also taste my spunk. I love sloppy seconds!
We would fall asleep and in the morning we’d have sex again, usually lazy spooning. We’d shower before going to breakfast. After breakfast, we’d pack our things in the bedroom and put them in her car. We’d then take a walk along Market Harborough’s High Street, buy a newspaper and go for coffee at Caffè Nero.
After coffee, we’d stroll back to the car and Sophie would give me a lift to the train station. Our goodbyes were brief, almost perfunctory; there was always another time for another tryst, or that’s what I thought after each time we met up. How I miss Market Harborough now!
Have you been involved or are you involved in a tryst?
If involved in a tryst, did you or do you have a favourite place to meet up?
Also, if involved, did the trysts have a routine?
Sophie is not her real name but she looks like Sophie Raworth, a BBC newsreader. We haven’t met up for several years. I have greatly missed my trysts with Sophie, the conversation and the sex. She was one of my best friends and lovers. Using the past tense makes me very sad!
hotel reception:
hotel bedroom:
hotel bar:
hotel courtyard:
hotel restaurant:
hotel breakfast room:
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SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM
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Gepost op:29 september 2021 10:32 am
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:26 am 35793 Bezichtigingen
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I’m not a good singer. Even in the shower, I’m not a good singer. I was briefly a singer in two bands, but not singing well was okay in those post-punk days! My lack of singing ability probably explains why I failed the audition to star in the Naked Boys Singing! musical revue. Above is me in the audition; I’m eighth from the right ... or am I eighth from the left?!
I do not like my national anthem, God Save the Queen. Though I’ll stand up out of courtesy when it’s played, I will not sing it. God Save the Queen is a dirge, more suited to being played at a funeral. Also the anthem, in its opening line, mentions two things I don’t like - God and the Queen!
The Sex Pistols’ God Save the Queen is a much better song. Below is Jamie Reid’s artwork for the single. This punk song, released in 1977, only made it to number two in the official UK singles charts. Some believed that there was an Establishment stitch-up to stop the single reaching number one ... as if the BBC would be involved in such a cover-up!
Are you a good singer?
Do you like your national anthem?
Do you patriotically sing your national anthem?
The national anthems that I do like are America’s The Star-Spangled Banner, France’s La Marseillaise, Ireland’s The Soldier’s Song, Italy’s The Song of the Italians, Scotland’s Flower of Scotland, and Wales’ Land of My Fathers. These bouncy and stirring anthems all have a bit of oomph, something lacking in Britain’s God Save the Queen.
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HATS OFF TO FRECKLES
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Gepost op:27 september 2021 11:53 am
Laatste update:14 november 2021 6:26 am 32827 Bezichtigingen
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I’m going to try and keep this blog post short; in fact, it'll be as small as a freckle!
I love freckles; I think they are incredibly cute and incredibly sexy. I even love the word freckle!
Do you like freckles?
Do you have freckles?
If so, where are your freckles?
I have only a few freckles on my arms and shoulders. I’d like a few more freckles.
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Om te linken naar dit blog (spunkycumfun), gebruik [blog spunkycumfun] in uw berichten.
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